So I ran a couple errands after work. My last errand took me through the 15 Items or Less check out at Safeway, where a kindly looking middle-aged woman rang up my purchases.
Four pack of store brand toilet paper (beep)
Oven cleaner (beep)
Half gallon of milk (beep)
Liter of store brand seltzer water (beep)
"Looks like you're in for a fun evening" she said, as she passed the items over the scanner.
Not exactly cheap liquor and a pack of condoms but you know, I try.