Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Which way? Yes! Which Way?!

Six years ago, Bush was declared the winner of the 2000 presidential election.

Yes, as the democrats proceeded to lose every major election for the next six years, a new national past time emerged. Truly bipartisan and above all, inclusive, it was the self-fellating joy of discussing the Direction of the Democratic Party.

Indeed, it was a golden era for every American with a blog or fifteen minutes on an all-news network. After elections, we all huddled around the glow of a television or computer screen to find out why the democrats were such whiny titty babies who couldn't win an election if their lives depended on it. And after gorging ourselves on the political punditry we discovered that the reason democrats weren't winning was because they were political centrists who paid too much attention to radical left-wing special interests groups and the polls and who flip-flopped and tried to please everybody only to please nobody, except for soccer moms, hippies, and anarchists.

Then last week's election happened and it looked like a dark day for the national orgy.

But fear not! Since the democratic victory was nothing so much as a republican defeat the orgy has just begun.

In fact, as I was listening to NPR today what should I hear but one whole blessed hour discussing the Direction of the Democratic Party. A discussion made only more gloriously orgiastic by the collective wad-blowing of the centrist democrats, due to anti-abortion and anti-gun control democratic wins.

Oh yeah, and that brings me to my point. Sweet jellied Jesus on toast, am I pissed. A good portion of the discussion revolved around the anti-abortion democrat's win. Including not one, but two male callers and a male guest on the show advocating the swift removal of the pro-abortion splinters in the democratic platform.

Great idea guys! Lets just ignore or oppose any issues that are important to the health and well being of millions of American women. 'Cause girly issues are non-issue. And they have cooties. Anyway, as the republicans have so ably proven, who needs women in your party when you got pages?

Then, when you come around looking for my vote in 2008 you can kiss my big, fat, pro-choice ass.

7 comments:

Monticore said...

You can count on my vote too, as long as they don't run Hillary Clinton. It's not that I'm against a woman president. I'd support Barb Boxer or Dianne Feinstien. It's that I'm against a Blonde president =).

edluv said...

uhh, heather, i'm not trying to pick on your response, but it doesn't follow the post very well. it seems that miss e is stating that she won't be voting for the dems if the eliminate the issues from the party platform that are important to her.

Adam said...

Monti is just stating that she'll vote Dem too as long as they don't run candidates she opposes.

They're both saying they'll vote Dem until the party stops doing what they want.

Monticore said...

Thanks for seeing my point A-Wall

Ann Thrope said...

Monti -

With Hillary I'm not so sure the drapes match the rug if you know what I mean. Wink wink.

Monticore said...

Ann-
I have the same thought the same things. But you have to embrace your brunette-ness

edluv said...

i like that some dems are floating the idea of a draft. that will endear them to the public.