Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Douchebag of the Day
So there I am, sitting in traffic, late to pick up my friend to take him to the airport. Stuck at a red light. Oh, did I mention my window is rolled down?
To my left, also stuck at the red light, are two young men in a brand new BMW. The passenger is dressed in a baseball cap and probably a baggy sports shirt but he's riding too low for me to see, the driver is in a dress shirt. However, I do not know this yet because I'm still facing forward watching for the light to turn green.
Now, maybe if I wasn't under a lot of pressure right now, maybe if I wasn't running late, maybe if my douche-o-meter hadn't been reading off the scale, maybe if I hadn't lost patience long ago with creeps who hit on me when I'm minding my own business, maybe I would have been a bit more polite. But that's a lot of maybes.
So when the driver leans over his buddy and tries to get my attention with a "hey excuse me" I respond by staring back stone faced for several seconds, and then spitting out "what do you want?"
Which is of course, a natural first step towards "do me, do me now."
At least, I imagine so because this guy's a tenacious little fuck.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
What? Oh hell no.
"That's none of your business" I tell him.
At which points he loudly tells his little gangsta buddy "damn, the bitch has some attitude."
I continue to stare at the light.
And then, because obviously it follows since I would turn down such a charming dickwad in a beemer:
"Are you gay?"
Then to his buddy "I think she's gay."
Very good fuckface. Yes the reason I'm not pulling over and blowing you this very instance is because I love the pussy. Can't get enough of it. Shit, if I didn't have to pay rent I'd be rug munching 24/7.
Finally the light turns green. I flip them off and floor it.
Posted by auritus at 10:50 PM