Procreation is the only real accomplishment in life, the only reason we do anything is so we’ll get laid. It’s the joke that every biologist loves, but that isn’t really a joke.
But I have a new theory. I call it the Unified Theory of Everyone’s a Fucking Bitch.
The only reason to we do anything - academics, date, fight, fuck, drink, smoke, do drugs, join the fucking Peace Corps - is so we can say to people “shut the fuck up, we’re doing it my way.” To win the experience contest, mine’s bigger. I’ve done more so I know better.
Don’t believe me?
That’s cool, I understand. It’s not like I’ve got extensive life experience to back up jack shit. I’m just a smartass, snot-nosed, know-it-all kid. And you are?
But because I’m a smartass I know enough to realize that everyone is a fucking bitch. And really that’s what drives me to do anything.
Humanitarian-shumanitarian, I want to do enough so that I can finally tell you to STFU.
See you in Kampala bitches.
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