Sunday, February 20, 2005

What would Jesus not do?

I got out of the business of trying saving people. It's hell on a person you know?
You see, the thing is they expect you to be Jesus which, let me tell you, isn’t easy for a secular humanist to pull off.

If you’re ever in Berkeley, go to Center St. and Shattuck Ave. and start walking with your back to the Bank of America. Sometimes before you get a block you’ll see a tall, thin, middle-aged African American man leaning up against the wall, somewhere between Jupiter’s and Walgreens. He’s got on a purple shirt and a baseball cap. I can tell you what he’s going to say.

“Excuse me ma’am/sir would you happen to have some change you could spare?”

Polite, with his hands behind his back and a deferential curve to his spine.

I’ve given him money, some change, a dollar, whatever was in my pocket.

But I’m warning you, if you give him money you’ll feel worse then if you don’t.

His thanks are so profuse for even a few dimes and nickels dug out from some pocket lint. You feel like you should stop and shout in his face “don’t you understand? This isn’t enough. I have a twenty dollar bill in my wallet. The money I gave you was laundry money, maybe enough for a coke”

And now you want honesty?
The raw true aching festering honesty?

How about I tell you a story instead?

There was a boy once, and he told her she was easy to talk to.
She was a repository for him, and he dumped everything into her. He gave her his hate, self deprecation, anger, religion-stunted teenage angst. And she tucked it away for safe keeping.

She got the call at 4 a.m.
And the calls at 2 a.m.
He described to her his sister’s death.
And still she wasn’t full and incapable of taking in more.

I wonder what type of flowers he got his new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day.

So like I said, I’m out of the business.

It’s hell, you know.


Anonymous said...

Jesus would not finish explaining what Dusty did with his handful of semen.

Anonymous said...

Jesus would also not post anonymously.

Anonymous said...

To my beloved Hedda,

You have your wish: your slave awaits your command.


Calvin Confus