Tuesday, September 07, 2004

a thing said in jest

I came home 50 million miles away.
Out of the hot Berkeley September day, standing in the kitchen sucking on my popsicle. Even the squirrels in the big oak tree outside my window are laying splayed on the branches to stay cool.

One of my roommates, recently returned from a weekend with her boyfriend asked me about my weekend and what I did. Well I know things happened. I know I have guilt for not studying enough. And there's a nearly empty tequila bottle on the cupboard. But I just leaned on the doorframe, sucking thoughtfully on my popsicle.

But you see gentle readers, I would never think to bore you with the trivial details of life. Neither would I think to write the very slightly less trivial details of my weekend. For you see, I have made a sacred oath. And I'm afraid the details of this weekend may include emotions that are more truth then lies (thought still in part lies).

So instead, I will muse on my nature as a liar.
In the very recent past, I have been told by two boys on my short list of fuckable and suckable that I am dishonest. Lacking in candor if you will.

Fair enough, nothing new I suppose but most interesting (besides the coincidental proximity of the statements) is the very big difference in these two dear boys.
One of them is often perceived as lacking in any real emotion, difficult to read and even harder to reach. But I'm told that it's just the troubling dichotomy of modern life.
The other boy is categorically incapable of concealing his truths from me. Oddly enough, given his transparency and my opacity, I think of him fondly.

As for my inability to procure and present the truth, whole and unblemished by lies.. well I imagine it runs in the family. Among others: poet and writer, three (soon to be four) academics, three artists, a magician and acrobat, a psychologist, a special effects man.

The truth is, I come from an austere lineage of liars and misdirectors.


1 comment:

auritus said...

Dear sir,

The fuckable/suckable list refers to the possibility of the acts not the acts themselves. Any inference from the statement as to actual fucking and sucking are solely the construct of the person(s) making the inference and the writer cannot be held responsible any interpersonal issues which may arise from mistaken interpretations.

Signed,
your loyal and obedient servant