Saturday, April 19, 2008

Mambo #5

Remember this song? I do.

I was fifteen, working at a zoo, and we had a radio in the back where we kept some of the birds at night. One of the few stations we could pick up was Y-100 and they would play this song almost every hour.

I had a wicked crush on one of my co-workers. I saw him again last time I was in Miami and it was amusing to think he once gave me butterflies in my stomach. I think you really only get those kinds of crushes when you're younger, I can't imagine feeling that way about anybody now. That's mostly a relief but still, it kind of makes me feel sad and old.

Not that I'm a hugely jaded person (okay, that's a lie) but when I meet a good looking guy now, it isn't long before I start wondering what's wrong with him. We all have something wrong, we all behave like assholes to the ones we care about sometimes. We all have scars that influence the way that we behave in a relationship.

And that's fine, and human, but it's a lot of work. And it's why I'm not sad when I'm single and free of that work.

The funny thing is though, when I hear Mambo #5 (and that isn't very often these days) I can still feel a little bit of the feeling I had when I was fifteen. It's not a current feeling, it's an echo, but it still makes me smile.

Update: In case you were wondering what made fifteen-year-old-me weak in the knees. Yes, we had some fugly uniforms. But god help me, there's just something about tall, lanky boys.


timidvenus said...

hes kyoot!

Ann Thrope said...

It's funny though. When I see undergrads on campus now they all look really young to me, yet they're older than the guy in that picture.

But I'm not going to lie, I'd totally tap that underage ass if I had a time machine..

Ann Thrope said...

Um totally kidding about that by the way. Just in case anybody thought I molested 16 year old boys.

timidvenus said...

lol. glad you clarified.

m.wise said...

e, i agree that the feeling of a crush changes as you get older. maybe by knowing more and experiencing more, you know better than to jump into those types of feelings. you build up to caring for and wanting a person. and knowing that nobody is perfect plays into that too, like you said. but early in life you don't think these things. you see them, you like them, you want them.