Dear dude driving the black Acura on 152 W,
I was driving in the left lane, behind a line of cars. You were at the front of all these cars, with a long stretch of highway clear in front of you. I changed into the right lane and passed all the cars, including you. As I passed you, I couldn't miss the sound of your tricked out engine, nor the douche-y toolness of you and your three dudely passengers.
I don't know how fast you were going but I know when I changed back into the left lane I was going 90 with a good gap between your car and mine, widening by the minute. For some reason unknown to me, you felt the need to speed up, pass me, and then drop back down to 80, directly in front of me.
Now, I know this is going to be a hard concept for you to understand but stick with me for a minute. Sometimes people who drive behind you actually want to drive faster than you. When this happens, they pass you. This works out well because the person who wants to drive faster can be in front of the person who wants to drive slower. In other words, if you're driving 80 and I want to drive 90, you should be behind me.
I can only assume that your reasons for acting the way you did were either malicious or ill informed.
So here's what you can do. You can either grow a fucking pair and you know, really speed or you can deal with the fact that sometimes, girls in boring old Saturns are going to pass you and your bros driving in your small penis mobile. So let them.
I hope the Jack in the Box you pulled off to get in Los Banos gives you a fucking heart attack, dickwad.
XOXO,
E
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I remember reading about how in certain parts of Asia and in Macedonia, people use cormorants to catch fish.
The fisherman uses a ring or tie on the bird's neck so it won't be able to swallow the fish it catches.
Every seventh fish the fisherman has to give to the cormorant or else the bird will stop fishing.
And if I remember correctly, after a few years, the cormorant won't fish for the fisherman any more.
The cormorant would rather starve than lose all but the seventh fish.
Except maybe that last part isn't true.
The fisherman uses a ring or tie on the bird's neck so it won't be able to swallow the fish it catches.
Every seventh fish the fisherman has to give to the cormorant or else the bird will stop fishing.
And if I remember correctly, after a few years, the cormorant won't fish for the fisherman any more.
The cormorant would rather starve than lose all but the seventh fish.
Except maybe that last part isn't true.
9 comments:
i know you're traveling this route frequently, but i've heard that 152 between 99 & 5 is quite the speed trap. in fact, i know a couple people who've collected tickets in that area. one of them even has a few from there.
just as a word of caution.
xoxoxo
ed
Yeah I've heard the same thing as well but in all the times I've passed through I've only seen a cop twice and once was on some holiday weekend when the police and CHP was out in force all over.
Adam what do you think?
E
Oh and I really don't think the guy cut in front of me to save me from a speeding ticket.
I've also heard the same rumors about it being a speed trap and have seen one car pulled over, a camaro, who passed me up 20 minutes after I passed him.
Other than that, I've not seen much activity.
Maybe it's a rumor started by the CHP to make their job easier...
see, in my experiences driving to the bay area, that's usually the part of the drive when i do see chp.
(and i didn't think the guy passed you to help you avoid a ticket.)
did you ever think that the son on nip/tuck looks really odd? i do. i think it might be his eyebrows.
I actually see very few cops on the drive usually. Around Livermore I see them sometimes and I once saw someone pulled over on 5 but that's about it.
Coming from Florida I'm really surprised at how much speeding you can usually get away with around here, at least on the highway. Berkeley on the other hand is always crawling with cops.
As for Matt on Nip/Tuck.. I think he looks like Michael Jackson but his eyebrows aren't as over-tweezed as MJ.
i travel the 152 from los banos to the 99 around 4 times a week. i usually see about 1 chp on my way there and 1 on my way back...every day. but you gotta play the odds, and if you like to drive fast you will most likely take the chance. and succeed 9 times out of 10. good luck E.
Hey Elenore why was you picture only displayed on one out of the three comments you made?
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