Sweet Dreams...

So it’s December 16th and I have only one post in my December 2005 archive.
It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’m tired. Really, really tired, all the time.

This time last year I was sleeping maybe three or 4 hours a night, wrapping up a respectable 15 units of biology classes.

Last night I fell asleep at ten and still overslept on my 8 a.m. alarm.
I spent the majority of the time dreaming I was fighting evil goldfish with tiny gold crucifixes and woke up exhausted.

It’s frustrating, there is so much I want to do and at the same time I come home from work exhausted every day, it’s already dark and I can’t think of anything else but going to bed. It’s only one job, and it really shouldn’t be that hard. The best part of my job is tying up all the loose ends that most people just assume are taken care of.

I’m good at the things that nobody even notices aren’t being taken care of, until they aren’t. And I come home and kick off my shoes and wish I was pouring all this effort into something that my soul was as committed to as my energy.

My brain is starting to eat itself. When Samuel “Tookie” Williams was executed I spent three days arguing with myself about capital punishment, while I worked at the lab bench.

So of course I made 34 cookies for my lab tonight. Sugar cookies painstakingly handcrafted with both Christmas and Hanukkah-appropriate icing. Then I delivered them to the lab at 9:30 at night with a post-it note wishing everyone happy holidays from me.
Because shit, why not?